Suddenly I See

Today is the day...it's the day I become the president of my women's group. Two years ago, I was installed as the vice-president. I remember thinking, oh, I have plenty of time before the presidency rolls around. Two years is an eternity, no worries, that day will be so slow in getting here. NOT!!!

In my ever changing moods, I have never seen such a fast paced two years fly by. And here I am. It wasn't an eternity and now my group is going to be looking to me for leadership, after tonight. Since I thought this night would be a long time coming, as usual, I am approaching it with that deer in the headlights look. Sirens sounding off, wide eyes, my great fake it approach where everyone THINKS I know what I am doing but in reality....again...I fly by the seat of my pants and can fake a great presidential persona. The older I get, the better I am at looking like I totally understand things. The reality is that I go a bit blank behind my eyes with fear. I mean, I always rise to the occassion, do my work, do my research and give it my best shot. I just am not the person you would peg as being the official one. If you see me, I look more like the official party planner. Not the official president.

This is a great group of women and we do great things for women. It's a very well established group and most of them have been together for years and years. I was installed as a member about 6 years ago. See...I don't even remember my own installation year. I hope that they don't mind the new girl on the block asking a lot of questions because I will have them. I hope they won't mind the way I take meeting notes on cocktail napkins. The past few meetings I have tried to bring an official notebook to look like I know what I am doing. But, I am who I am, and that is a cocktail note taking girl. The whole official notebook thing just messed me up. It drove me insane and I couldn't find any of the information I needed.

I am officially better off not trying to be too official. It's not who I am. So, if they are ready to welcome me into the new role as president, I hope they can welcome my spin on being a president. I want good things for the group, I want to see some growth, I want us to continue with our good deeds in the community, I want the community to get to know us a bit better and I want us all to bond and have fun while doing business.

Wait!!!! Maybe I am ready to take this on!!! Maybe I really do have a handle on what is to be done and my role in doing it. I am not saying that it will be a smooth ride and I am not saying that I will not make laugh-worthy mistakes but I do think I can take this and run with it. All of a sudden, it is sinking in...maybe I really am ready to be in charge.