Monday, August 23, 2010

Once In A Lifetime

It has been a busy few days and I am now trying to regroup with large amounts of coffee. It has been a good busy but busy still the same. Today is the day that once again, I proclaim to take back my laundry room while getting lost in the abyss that is the cheerleader's room and trying to brush the matted fur of the world's oddest cat.

In my ever changing moods, today is when I tend to all things domestic that have been neglected. Why is it that when you turn your back, the first thing that seems to mock you is the laundry? And, how does it multiply so quickly? In such a short amount of time? In my mind, this is one of life's great mysteries...figure it out and you will be my best friend for life!

The reason for the mocking laundry is that my little baking/bread business has been going really well and then this past weekend, I branched out and tested the waters downtown at the town's local farmer's market. GREAT response!! My products all sold out and I hope that in the process, I was able to send even more business to the local coffeehouse that serves my breads. I even had to take special orders that I will be delivering, today. It is all so exciting and so fulfilling!! I didn't even know that I was looking for this when I started down the road of self discovery. I mean, seriously, 6 months ago, I ran in terror at the thought of baking anything more complicated than a pan of brownies. I have said this before but I CAN just scares me.

So, who knew that when my friend, C, answered my plea for help in the baking of bread, and her kicking me in the rear and telling me to just do it, would I love all things dough, so much? My love grew and my family was in love with me for giving them freshly baked rolls, breads and sweets. Then, somehow, things escalated and I fell into a GREAT gig with the coffeehouse, am forming a really nice friendship in the process with S, the owner, and now I am also all over town and taking special orders.

Yesterday, I designed business cards and labels...I know...who am I ???? It is great fun but the best part is that I am carving out my own business, with my own theme, as my own boss and I hope that this is only the beginning of more great things to come!

I was working in the yard, yesterday, and thinking that everything that has ever happened in my life has not come with a lot of planning. Things just seem to show up in unexpected ways and I decide to jump on and see where the ride is going to take me. This is one of those times. I try to always experience whatever comes my way because so many opportunities don't knock twice. Sometimes you really do just have to jump in, feet first, and ask yourself...How did I get here?

For all of my fans, here, I have a Facebook page set up for my new venture. If you want to follow me on that, just look for me at Cosmic Charlie Baking and will take you right to my fan page. I was going to tie it in with a second blog but right now, a fan page is what I can handle.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Loving You

The world of my every changing moods has gotten so busy, lately. My new business is taking off and not only am I doing my original gig for my baking, but I am taking in special orders from emails and am getting ready to set up, this Saturday, downtown, with my baked yumminess!! Add to the chaos is the cheerleader and her non-stop cheer practices and comings and goings and end of the summer doctor appointments and the excitement of starting her senior year and constant chatter about senior pictures, graduation announcements, games, college applications and just the general senior thrill.

J has been busy with his own projects that find him out in his garage until all hours of the night, right now. In the evenings, if I am doing baking, here, and he is outside in the garage, I find myself running out to help him, between oven timers ringing. Last night, I was running back and forth in my little baking apron. I was like a baking garage/grease monkey.

Anyway, once I was finishing up and he came inside and still had not had dinner at 11pm and he looked so tired and was watching me finish up my baking project, I looked at him and was just so filled with love and appreciation. He works so hard and he is so patient with two crazy girls running through the house. He helps me with all of my new ventures and offers support and help. He listens, endlessly, to the cheerleader and her newest high dramatics and never ending teen sagas. He can look so tired but still indulge me while I blab on and on about new baking orders or a certain display I am working on. He takes the time to help me decide on a business logo. He stops and listens about my upcoming presidency in my women's group, he gives advice, he reads things for me to make sure that what I am sending out to people sounds right.

We are often running past each other most days. We give quick hugs and quick kisses and we keep moving. We are not corny, cheesey romantics...we just know that we love each other and are there for each other. But, sometimes, like last night, with both of us helping the other, my heart fills with so much love and so much appreciation that I have him as a friend, partner, love.

Monday, August 16, 2010


In all of my excitement about reclaiming my life after goats and fair, I forgot to do my weekend post of what I am reading, watching, listening to....

Since the past few weeks have been all about Jerry Garcia, for me, and his birthday and the anniversary of his passing, I decided to re-read this book...

It's summer so that means it is Mad Men time for me!! My favorite show on television...I get lost in each episode and find myself watching them over and over.

When it is Mad Men season, I find myself wanting to plan lots of cocktail soirees. I found this album to download. How cool is the music to stand around and enjoy martinis at a lounge themed soiree??

And, the song that I chose for this blog post? The Smashing Pumpkins, Today. I have found myself totally going through all of my cds and cassettes of 90s music, lately. The Smashing Pumpkins were one of my fav groups of the time...

Love Song

Just when I thought the weekend would be a quiet one, it changed. It started out peaceful and quiet with me cheering the end of fair. The cheerleader moved home, brought 100 pounds of laundry, fell asleep and planned to just spend a quiet afternoon and evening at home. That lasted up until she woke from her afternoon nap. The cheerleader is not a relaxing sort of girl and once she fuels up on sleep and food, she becomes restless. So, she made plans to go pick her pal, M, up for a quick shopping trip. She left, I was happy with the silence, and started the laundry. Not long after, she called me to say that she and M were leaving M's house to go meet their other pal, H, who had just gotten jilted by her boyfriend. For another friend of theirs. Cue the high drama music. Make way for the tears. I told them to be careful and to make sure that H didn't drive if she was too upset.

J came home, we were enjoying a quiet evening of nothingness and all of a sudden Maggie's Farm erupted in fireworks. Yes, the three amigos came busting in, all on fire with the rage, angst, revenge of a teen heart broken.

In my ever changing moods, I was suddenly transported back to my own high school and college days and to the amount of times either myself or my pals all nursed a broken teen heart. I was brought back to reality, quickly, when they began, frantically, telling me plans of things they could do for revenge. I quickly had to take my sympathetic mom hat off and put on my police hat. GIRLS!!!!!! We are not living a Carrie Underwood or Talylor Swift song. There is sweet revenge and then there is landing in front of a juvenile judge!!!!! Pull it together, people.

After they all ran up to the cheerleader's room, I took a sip, or a few sips of wine and headed up to talk to calmer heads. I pointed out that a better plan of revenge is the subtle, emotional revenge. (How old am I???? Am I still trapped in a junior high mentality???) Anyway, I pointed out that physical harm or property damage is not the way to go...ever. So, after much plotting, they decided the best revenge would be to seek out the house where the greatest number of their guy friends were hanging and go there. And then text about being there. Yeah, the old make him jealous plot was in high gear.

I then went out to pick up dinner for J and me. J who was still holding the tv remote...of course, guys are always oblivious to the broken hearts. While driving, this whole dramatic scene made me, once again, remember all of the plans of revenge that my pals and I always made but never carried out. I think it is just the teen way. You go through broken hearts to learn how to mend them. You go through hurt to learn how to work through it. You bond with your girlfriends over plans of revenge to teach you that no matter how dark the hour seems, you do have friends. You experience this all as a teen so that when you get to be my age, you can say that yes, the storm can be weathered and that someday, when the timing is right and you find the right person, you will find the happiness that is waiting for you in the right relationship.

Then, yesterday, as the cheerleader was buying a card and gift to cheer H up, she got a call that H had decided to go back with the cheater, er, boyfriend. The cheerleader was livid but told her pal that she understood. She asked me if she could return the card and gift to get her money back. I told her to just keep it, it wouldn't be the last of the teenage broken hearts.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Free To Be...You And Me

We have hit that point in the summer where summer activities have run their course. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE summer and summer fun! But, every August, after the fair, my mind starts to crave structure and schedules. I claim to not be a follower of schedules but yet, I need them. And, between my friends in town, my friends out of town and all of my online friends, we seem to all have the same feeling...GET THE KIDS BACK TO SCHOOL!!!!!!! What has it been about this summer that is driving us all to drink, er, I mean nuts????

In my ever changing moods, I really do look forward, each May, to fun in the sun and the easy days of summer. Except, the older the cheerleader gets, the busier our summers have gotten. When she was young, our summer days consisted of us getting all of our work done around Maggie's Farm and then packing up and heading to the local pool. She would seek out her friends, I would seek out mine, I had a book by my side, my water, my sunscreen, my pals. We would keep one eye on the pool and one eye on each other. We could each watch a kid on the high dive, take a sip of water, stop mid sentence to make sure kid on high dive was okay after said dive, and continue our conversations. Good times. Then, at 5pm, on the dot, we packed up, came home, showered, the cheerleader would watch the Disney or Nick show of the moment and then we all had dinner when J got home. Tranquility ruled.

Now, they no more get out of school for summer and their activities begin. Like, on Day 2. Cheer camp/practices/cheer camp/practices/etc. Then, the revolving hotel door at Hotel California with friends all coming and going, Alice's Restaurant open at all hours, and me, waiting up on curfew, most nights. Add in the goat, fair, and all around teen attitude and I say....LET SCHOOL BEGIN!!!

I have a friend, from my message board, L, who proclaimed she may stick needles in her eyes until school starts for them. I know the feeling, L, I truly do. Then, my mind starts to drift and it starts to think of a plan that has been in the works for years. It consists of so many of my online friends and me building our own community. It would be a communal sort of place for us, only. Leaving kids and husbands at home. It would be escape time, for just us moms. We each have planned the kind of house we would have, if it will be on the beach or in the mountains or on a farm. I vote my house to be on the beach. Either way, our plan is to all have our houses next to each other and we all come and go and drink, eat, laugh, listen to music, watch our fav tv shows and fav movies, chat, not lift a finger except to do what we enjoy. Whenever one of us gets stressed, we always talk about our communal plan. A place where we are free from the everyday.

Of course, we all LOVE our husbands and our kids, and none of us would ever want to leave. But, for a short amount of time, we all have so much fun in the planning of our pretend eases our stress, we laugh so hard at some of the plans and then we let our minds return back to our everyday lives.

It's one of the reasons that I love my pals so much...we all know when another is stressed to the max and we know when the communal living plan needs to resurface...if only for an hour.

Scarborough Fair

Did you hear that big sigh of relief, yesterday? It was me as I was loading up Sugaree with the goat supplies and feed boxes and hay boxes left from the fair. Yes, the county fair has come and gone, leaving me covered in dust.

In my ever changing moods, I don't really understand the attraction of the county fair past the animal barns. This is where my fair experience begins and ends. I have no desire to travel past the show arena to venture onto the midway filled with rides, loads of people and fried foods. I don't think anyone would ever crown me fair queen. In fact, according to the cheerleader, I am a fair failure.

Each April, the cheerleader and her pal go out to a goat farm and each pick a goat for a 4H livestock project. They like to wait until all of the goat sales are over and people have come and paid big bucks for a prize winning goat. The cheerleader and pal go when all that are left are the goats that were passed up or the little runt goats or the goats who had to be bottle fed due to whatever complication may have happened with the mother goat. I am sure there is a farm name for the mother goat but I just like to call them whatever I like to call them.

So, they pick the unwanted goats and raise them, feed them, love them, train them for four months. They name them and treat them like a family pet. The goats are quite happy and the girls fall in love with them.

Then, August hits and in this town where Maggie's Farm is, people set their watches and their lives by the first Friday of August. That is always the kick off to our county fair. So, we spend the week before, on pen decorating, setting up the supply pen and then moving the goats in. I like to arrive after all of the hard work of unloading the goats is over. In the goat barn, our goats and I stick out like a sore thumb. First, our pen is always highly and colorfully decorated. We match feed buckets and water buckets and tack boxes, hay boxes, feed boxes all to our decorations. We have big, white wooden goat name hangings for the pen. We like to display all of our ribbons on the pen. The girls coordinate the color of their muck boots to the pen decor.

The other goats are all with very serious livestock groups. These groups thrive on all things goats. They are ruthless. They bring hair dryers, special top secret feed, one group has been known for their training on treadmills, they all set up some serious goat pens. They are the people who bought the high dollar goats. They snub our little goats that were looked over.

I arrive, each day, to check on things and make sure that the cheerleader has fed and watered them. When I arrive, the other goaters sort of just look down their noses at me. I come in with snappy outfits, a great handbag, a cloud of Chanel perfume and cute flipflops. See...the anti-fair girl.

On show days, we use simple Ivory soap on our goats to keep them all cute and white. The serious goaters get out their lotions and potions and go to town. They look at us in line, at the sad little forgotten goats and their overly fashioned owners and laugh.

Until showtime hits. I don't want to brag but our little goats have taken championship ribbons and trophies from the serious goats. The first year, our goats took County Born and Raised champ and we took Division champ. This year, our goats came in first and second in County Born and Raised and placed 4th in their divisions of 4H. We hang our ribbons and get mean looks and then I pack up my handbag and glide out of the barn for the day after kissing the goats on the heads.

So, today, fair is officially history for another year. This means there is goat stuff to wash, loads of laundry that the cheerleader will bring home from camper living at the fair and we bid goodbye to the goats. The lights, the scents, the people of the fair are all gone. I always feel such relief at this point in August.

The fair is great for the community but this anti-fair girl is ready to dust herself off and continue with life outside of the goat barn.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Your Love

My blogging has become sporadic and I don't like it! I don't like when bloggers come on and tell you how busy they are and that they vow to start blogging, again, and then it is months before you hear from them again. I am NOT that blogger!!!!

In my ever changing moods, the first verse to the song, Your Love, sums up my world minus the vacation...

"Josie's on a vacation far away..." I haven't been on a vacation but this summer is really blowing past me in a blur of crazy busy days, a house of kids, goats at the fair, my new little business taking off, the day to day, keeping up with my friends, the never ending upkeep of Maggie's Farm, lots of fun summer concerts, and did I mention the revolving door that I am thinking of installing to transport the loads of teens in and out in a quick manner.

I just need the earth to slow down a bit and give me back my QUIET mornings that I enjoy setting aside for blogging. The fair ends, tomorrow...huge sigh of relief! That will cut down on the extra few dozens of kids that don't actually live here. I won't be playing Alice's Restaurant for dishing out breakfasts after they all show and take care of their animals at fair. I won't be busy trying to find extra blankets for them all to sleep and take naps before they all shower and head back out to the fair. In case you didn't know, the county fair is a big happening in Maggie's Farm's town. I am ready to be done, pack up the goats, bid farewell to the extra kids, and start to tackle the laundry room.

So, basically, I miss my morning blog sessions. I miss you, my readers and fans. And I wanted you to know that since I have been so hit and miss. I look forward to getting back on track...

Monday, August 9, 2010

He's Gone

There isn't a whole lot to say on this day, August 9, except that he is missed. He made us all a part of a family and an experience. Those of us who followed were lucky enough to be in the lovelight. The music, the man, the scene. Nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile...

"One man gathers what another man spills..."

"Come hear the Uncle John's Band by the riverside
Got some things to talk about, here beside the risin' tide
Come hear Uncle John's Band playing to the tide,
Come on along, or go alone,
He's come to take his children home"

"Saint Stephen with a rose, in and out of the garden he goes..."

"If you get confused, listen to the music play..."

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Brokedown Palace

Well, Saturday found me with no blog post about what I am reading, watching, listening to, so I thought I would get all caught up while I have the chance.

The week, last week, was all about The Grateful Dead, for me. Not only do I call my baking enterprise, Cosmic Charlie Baking, but, we also went to see Dark Star Orchestra play on Sunday. On Jerry Garcia's birthday. It was a great show and much more intimate than how we usually see them. I danced the night away, made some friends from Pittsburgh, and J and I stood and enjoyed the encore,dedicated to Jerry, and his birthday. If you are a Grateful Dead fan, you know that Brokedown Palace showcases Jerry's sweet, soulful, melodic voice. It also happens to be one of my all time favorite songs.

I have gotten hooked a television show recommended to me by my mother-in-law, Ramblin' Rose. She knew that I would love the urban farmers, their tales of life on a farm and a life with their goats since, well, goats are our life in the summers. If you have Planet Green, check out, The Fabulous Beekman Boys. They are hysterical.

I have been reading this book and is just a really great, coming of age type of story...

Fare you well, fare you well...


Hello!!! I am blowing back in!!! I feel like I have been doing nothing but blowing around, here, there and everywhere. The past week has been crazy and packed with lots of things going on and that new gig that I talked about when I last posted. I think that things have settled to a dull storm, at this point. I have my groove all planned out, now, and am charging full steam ahead.

In my ever changing moods, I have not been this busy, in a long time, and I am loving every minute of it!! After beginning this blogging journey to track new paths and finding my way in a changing role as the cheerleader gets ready to enter her senior year in high school, I have been lucky enough to have been given a chance to pursue something that has become a passion of mine. When I started this self-journey, one of my goals was to overcome my dislike/fear/irritation with baking. You all got to see my creation of Cosmic bread baking/baking attempts. Well, it turns out that I enjoyed the baking so much, that it is now what I am doing on a regular basis for a local establishment!!

Me, baking, almost daily. Who would have put those words, together, 6 months ago? It turns out that I find it very rewarding, very relaxing, very fun!! And, people all seem to love my creations!! It is the new niche that I was looking for and I love seeing and smelling all of my creations!!

Who knew that baking was going to be my next step in life? And, it fits into my lifestyle, perfectly! I work to my own beat, still have time for things at home and for the upcoming crazy senior year but I also have this little space that is all about me and my creativity!!

So, yes, I do feel like I am blowing around town, smiling, chatting, baking...and I have never felt so alive with possibilities!! I am a creative person by nature and this allows me a new outlet for my ever changing moods...