I wish!!!! If you live in the land of the snow, you would be ready to hop a jet plane and jet off to anywhere that is sunny and warm!!! A place where the sand is soft, the sun is hot, the water is perfect and they deliver cocktails to your chair every 15 minutes.
A girl can dream and in my ever changing moods, that is where my mind will stay until we enter into the thaw out stage.
It's Saturday, go enjoy!! If you are snowed in, stay warm. If you are in the sun, I am jealous!!
And, no matter if you are snowed in or need a beach read, enjoy my book of the weekend. It's a great read with lots of great pictures!!!
I did want to make a short post to thank all of you, my old friends, new friends, unknown friends for all of the kind words of encouragement about this blogging adventure!!! Your messages, texts, phone calls and conversations on facebook have meant so much!!
It's hard to put your foot into the blogging world especially when you are just writing about the rambling thoughts in your ever changing moods.
You know how songs mean many things to many people? I mean, I think we each, over time, have had that one or two pivotal song or songs that speaks volumes and inspires. It can be a song to encourage or support or for love or for mending a broken heart or making a big jump in life. Making a change, moving on...songs that speak to us.
Not everyone has the same song. I have had several songs that just speak to me and say...go for it!! I have songs that still bring a tear to my eye because of a memory or a broken heart. Music sums up what your heart wants you to do or what your mouth wants you to speak. I believe this, I live by this.
The past few days or so, my ever changing moods has had a shift of sorts. An uneasiness that has been nagging at me. Little things seem to keep popping up to make up larger things that start to weigh on a person. Nothing earth shattering, or life altering...no sickness, sadness or anything wrong with the ones I hold near and dear.
It has been more of a signal that it's time to move on. Move away from things that are not working. Putting a distance between myself and things that are not working. Maybe it's a sign of maturity or getting a bit older, a bit wiser, but sometimes you just know when to hold em, know when to fold em. (Song implant, anyone).
Sometimes, stepping away from what is familiar is really hard. It is sad because usually the reason you are stepping away has nothing to do with the larger equation. So, you take a deep breath, hope that the ones you are closest with will understand, and make that jump. The jump can be scary but then it can hold many exciting possibilities. It can be jumping to a new job, a new city, a new school...or, it can be a jump from anywhere you once felt so content.
Life is full of possibilities and challenges and rewards. Sometimes, making that jump and then landing on the other side is what you need to make your mark.
So, in your ever changing moods, pick a song that speaks to you. Turn it up as loud as it will go, get pumped and then go out and make that change, make your jump, make your mark, be happy!!!
I have to say that these jumps and making changes are made easy if you have a loving support circle. I have Mr. Man, the cheerleader and a group of great friends (you all know who you are) so I know that they always have my back. Gather your support circles, prepare for the bumps and enjoy the destination. Until the next time it's time for you to fly....
Well, don't spill the wine...keep it in your glass and drink it!! But, what a great song title.
Wine...those who know me well know that it is my cocktail of choice. A good, hearty, dry red wine. I have no idea when wine became my cocktail but in my ever changing moods and the older I get, this is my favorite way to end the day and begin the evening journey.
To me, it is like a ritual. The sun begins to set, it's time to begin dinner preparations (we are late diners) and the house just sort of starts to quiet. Without needing to run the cheerleader all over the green earth, this is definitely a quiet time at my house.
Now, I am not a wino....there is a big difference. But sitting down with a relaxing glass of wine does so much for the soul.
I think that as a stay at home mom all of these years, my days were so packed with non-stop baby/toddler/preschool/elementary/middle school/high school activities over the years that I started looking forward to the time of day when the cheerleader would get her bath, calm down and go to bed. I mean, we had great days with lots of adventures and lots of day trips and playdates and all of the rest of the fun things that childhood brings but it was nice to sit down, after the hectic day, and just have an hour of time just to myself.
During my hour of wine, I start dinner, I listen to music, I read a magazine or a couple of chapters in a book, watch a show that I may have on the dvr or check the computer. But, that hour is reserved strictly for me. No mundane laundry, cleaning, phone calls....just making dinner, wine, and my time.
I think that it is a nice transition that takes me from being so high strung, all day, to beginning my mellow transformation for evening. And, after that hour and my glass of wine and a yummy dinner in the oven, my ever changing mood is ready to greet Mr. Man and the cheerleader as they both make it home in time for dinner. The chaos starts again, the minute the front door opens but if I have had my hour of wine, it's okay. I have had my siesta of sorts and can face a crazy evening.
So, don't spill the wine, pour some in a glass and savor...enjoy...relax...
Your ever changing mood will be so recharged and happy..
And, get a special wine glass just for you. Something that makes you happy when you are enjoying your glass of vino...
Here are some of my favorite glasses..
Cheers!!
Enjoy the music, tonight, over a glass of wine. And, I know the original song was done by Eric Burdon but I like this version, too...
Yesterday, there was a discussion on an online board that I belong to, about the things in our houses. The owner of the board, Lisa, commented about an object that makes her happy whenever she passes by it in her house and that she would rather have three items in her house that make her happy instead of a house that is full of just items that mean nothing. I am not quoting her word for word, but you get the idea.
That made my ever changing mood stop and think about our house and the home that it has evolved into since Mr. Man and I got married. I started to go room to room to see how I felt about the stuff in our house. I have to tell you, it made my mood sentimental and full of love.
As I walked through the house, each room jumped out at me with a memory. Each piece of furniture seems to have a special meaning or a special point in time when it was purchased. We have some pieces that were given to us by grandparents and great grandparents that I don't think I could ever part with. I remembered the anniversary when we purchased our kitchen table and chairs as a gift, together. I remembered how Mr. Man surprised me with our master bedroom set, right before we got married, when I first moved to Florida. The same with our dining room furniture. Another surprise when I was getting ready to move into our first Florida home.
We have a guest suite that is furnished with the most beautiful antique set that has been in Mr. Man's family for years and years and years. There is a lot of history and stories that come with that set and it has the original mattress on the bed. It is the most comfortable bed to sleep in and if you look closely, you can see the old price tag that it cost all of 30.00. I could never part with that set.
In our entry hall, there are two seperate chairs in different areas. Both belonged to sets of grandparents and each chair makes me smile when I pass by them. I also have the grandmother clock that used to sit in my grandparent's house along with many dishes and glassware that my grandmother handed down to me. It all sits in the dining room and comes out for holidays and special occassions.
We have a house of stuff but it is all great, memory rich stuff. I find that with each passing year, this stuff becomes more and more important to me and to my heart. Each corner of every room fills me with love. There are framed pieces of artwork done by the cheerleader when she was very young, my cookbooks, my fashion books, my closet full of my fashion finds, my grandmother's fur coats, things that Mr. Man and I have collected over the years. Our extensive music collection....the hundreds of vinyl, yes, vinyl albums. I can recall the history of all my albums and where I purchased each one. The different underground record shops, the rare album finds with stamped numbers on the covers. Everything in our house means something to me and in my ever changing mood, that makes me feel safe, full of love, and happy to always be home.
So, yes, while I do agree that I would rather be surrounded by things I love, like Lisa said, I don't think I could pick just three things. I would have to pick a whole house of things. Because we are lucky enough to have a house built out of a love that reaches back in time and generations. And this, to me, is the best kind of house.
I do, however, have things that are mine that I adore and make me happy and are all about me and my ever changing moods...here are a few of those items...don't get me started on the things that I adore in my closet of clothes, shoes, boots, bags, hats...that needs to be a whole other blog post...
This painting sums up my outlook on life...
Framed prints and an autographed print of the best television show of all time...
Best movie of all time...I can recite the lines word for word and can sing each of the songs...I want to own each item in Penny Lane's wardrobe.
My mother-in-law, Linda, gave me this framed print after I got my little yellow VW, this summer.
Just two examples of fashion book stacks...to show you more, would be showing my addiction...
Painting that hangs in my powder room...
So, do you surround yourself with things that make you happy? You would be surprised how much it can make your ever changing mood want to sing!!
These are just a few of the things that make me happy in our house...
I am a lover of fashion and love to read the recaps of Fashion Week and drool over the many clothes, shoes, bags that I put on my mental dream list. I love putting new outfits together and get particularly excited when I see a collection that just screams...THIS IS YOU!!!!!!!!!! (or, in this case, me...lol)
I am loving this Anna Sui collection and would wear just about each of these dresses, jackets, tights and boots. Actually, I have a pair of the lace up boots in brown!! This collection is soooooo everything I would wear that it actually makes me a bit teary eyed...in a good way!!
Here is one of my favorite looks...
And this...
In my ever changing moods, this makes me want to add these to my closet, ASAP!!
Over the past weekend, I found myself needing to be in different situations that put me in close proximity with people that I used to have close friendships with. It's hard to explain at what point we went from being great pals to being people who are friendly on a "need to" basis. Does this happen as we get older? I find that it does happen in my life. These friendships did mean something to me at one point but how does a friendship end up on the other side of bff (best friends forever) to bt (barely tolerated)?
I know that, for me, and my ever changing moods, I have found that I am less tolerant. I don't like to spend a lot of time and energy on the friend who tries so hard to make me feel like they are better than me, or tries to outdo me or feels that they have to constantly blow their own horn. I don't think that friendships should be a competition.
I also know that in my ever changing moods, I no longer tolerate bad behavior and back stabbing in friends. Junior high, high school and college days are long gone. I no longer want to feel like every move I make is going to be food for the gossip queens.
I don't know what motivates these friends to act like they do. I am a good friend and a loyal friend and I have lots of friends. But, my mood is now seeing some people very clearly. I am seeing things for the first time. It is very liberating when this happens. When I was younger, I would worry about everyone liking me, making everyone happy, worrying if they were angry with me, needed to always have everyone happy. It was exhausting. And, I don't need the exhaustion, these days. Now, I find that I quietly step back and eventually out of some of these friendships that are no longer good for me. There is never a big blowup or girl fight or talking about it behind their backs. I am a polite un-friender. I fade out, I smile and am attentive when I run into them but in the back of my mind, I am so happy that I am seeing things for the first time because it makes my life so much less complicated and draining.
I think that as we get older, it is important to know that if a friend is no longer making you happy and all that you feel is stress when you are with them, something needs to be evaluated and changed.
So, in my ever changing moods on friendship, I do cherish each and every friend that has ever entered my life. Some of those friendships have stood the test of time and I know that these friends will be there to the end. Other friends have faded for reasons like moving or interests changing and then you have the friends who make it a sport to try to make you feel bad. And these are the friends that once you see them clearly, you can make the final and liberating decision on just where they will fall once you decide that something needs to be done.
I am not a mean person. I am just a person who is able to stand back and examine. I think this comes with age and experience. I know that the friends I have are in my heart for a reason and then friends that I have had to let go, I cherished at one time, but am wise enough to now know that they must go.
What about you? Do you have these revelations when you are seeing things for the first time?
Remember this song? I remember when this song first came out, I remember this song rocking our high school basketball and football games, our college games and now it rocks the cheerleader's high school games. The cheerleader goes to a high school where there is high spirit for each sport. The school dominates just about every sport there is. Even cheerleading is taken seriously and considered a sport. A title that the cheerleaders have worked hard and fought hard to achieve.
I could go on and on about our teams but since I am the mom of a cheerleader and the cheerleaer has made cheering her life, this is what is on my mind, today.
It was a crazy weekend of basketball games, cheering and then a cheer competition, yesterday. The cheerleaders ruled and brought home the 2nd place trophy in their division. It always brings a bit of a tear to my eye as they are announced as winners. I know it's not about the winning but as a cheer mom, I know the amount of dedication, tears, sweat, injuries, time, frustration and excitement that goes into cheering. Our cheerleaders not only cheer for the school games but they also are a competing cheer squad. That takes a lot of dedication. They give up having a life just to eat, sleep and breathe cheerleading. Every cheerleader on both the Varsity and JV squads is an honor student. All of the senior and junior Varsity cheerleaders are members of National Honor Society. They aim high, they aim big and they succeed.
This post is taking on a tone that is all about the cheerleader when what I really wanted to talk about is how being a cheer mom has shaped me and how I have spent the years from my daughter's 4th grade years to now junior year as a cheer mom. I walked into the competition, yesterday, and in my ever changing mood, I realized something. That after all of these years of being Alpha Cheer Mom....the torch has been passed. At some point, the moms of the seniors and juniors are now the laid back, spectator moms. The underclass freshman and sophomore moms have taken over. After I recovered from the shock that those moms had done all of the decorating and prep work, a new feeling took over my ever changing mood....and it was a feeling of relief. This new role was actually okay. I have done the work for many years. And, I am now at an age where I know it's okay to let other moms do the work. It doesn't make me look bad or like a failure or that I don't care. It makes me the mom of a Varsity cheerleader who can now just go and enjoy. Being the moms of the older cheerleaders has earned us a ticket to become background moms instead of alpha moms. And, this is the way it should be. The never ending circle of moms coming up in the ranks. I liked being able to just focus on the competition. I used to think that the parents of older students were so out of the loop because they were the background parents and we were doing all of the work. But, I was wrong. They had just earned their passage, like we have, to advance to the next level.
I know that there is still much work needed from us parents in the year and a half to come before our kids graduate but it's nice to know that the torch and crowns have been handed off for some of the stress and work.
As a cheer mom who has done it all and is now looking at the other side with the other cheer moms, I have to say that even though the torch has been passed, we still rock!! In my ever changing mood, this new concept is being well received by me...
In my ever changing moods, I find that more and more I can appreciate the easy feeling of what the weekend brings. I love Friday. It's my favorite day of the week because I know that it gives way to the peaceful days of Saturday and Sunday. We have always been a family with activities crammed into every minute of the weekend but as the cheerleader gets older and more independent with her own wheels, I can now sit and enjoy my weekend coffee a bit longer and just enjoy.
I think that I will carry this over to my blogging, too. My weekend blog posts may just be a simple song for the day or a simple thought or maybe a book I am reading and want to share.
Monday comes soon enough, each week, so enjoy your weekend, your family, your love, your animals...whatever makes you happy, go out and enjoy that peaceful easy feeling!!
Maybe I should say, born to be mildly wild. I was never the overly wild child kind of girl. I was the girl who followed the rules and yet I am the girl who cannot stand following the rules of baking..lol. I liked to have fun and could be rowdy and loud and went to tons of parties. Oh yes, good times were always had, and I think we all thought we were wild but we were mildly wild. The best kind of wild.
In my ever changing moods, I do still have streaks of mildly wildness left in me. I still like to dance, to sing at the top of my lungs, have cocktails, go to concerts, party with my pals and am always planning the next big soiree in my mind. But, then the other side of me takes over, too. The mom, the cheer mom, the rule making mom, the voice of reason mom. The chef, the errand running girl, the mundane chores girl, the cat caretaker girl. I like to balance it all out. It makes for a well rounded girl!
Once summer weather is here to stay, I get super excited. I get excited over the sunshine, the warmth, the beautiful trees and flowers, the long days and the fact that I can pull my fav car out of the garage and put her on the summer roads!!
Mr. Man surprised me with my little Audi TT about 3 summers ago. He pulled into the drive, honking her horn and then had to pick me up off of the drive after I fainted in shock. To those who know me well, know that her name is Elle Woods. Named after Elle's car in Legally Blonde 2. When Elle comes out for summer fun, my wild side comes out.
Wild as in let me drive as fast as I can on open country roads with my music blaring. Let me drive as fast as legally allowed on the highways. I love the feel of the sun on me with my hair blowing in the wind and a great tune blasting. There is no other feeling like it in the world. When summer weather hits and Elle comes out for the summer, my mildly wild side comes out, too!! In my mind, I leave the country roads and pretend that I am cruising the coast of California. Driving Elle Woods does so much for my ever changing mood. She makes me happy, carefree, loud and wild in my mind.
We are best friends in the summer and she lets me revisit the mildly wild girl in me. Of course, when we come home and I put her back in the garage until our next drive, I once again become sensible mom, wife, cat caretaker, all around girl of the mundane. Until our next drive, that is...
As always, enjoy the music and go out and do something mildly wild, today!!
There comes a time in my ever changing moods when I become irritated with winter. The Winter of 2010 on Maggie's Farm has been a complete drag, I have to tell you. I am the kind of winter girl who gets all giddy right after Thanksgiving to get a pretty dusting of snow. As Thanksgiving moves into December and Christmas, the hint of snow is always exciting!! The couple of weeks after Christmas, still fun and magical. Once we delve into the end of January and the remaining months of winter, my excitement fades and my ever changing mood becomes irritated to get the winter over so that I can become excited with the coming of spring!!
This winter has really thrown Maggie's Farm and the surrounding area a curve ball. We didn't just get snow and cold. We got blasted with 3 HUGE snowstorms within a period of a week and a half. Not just cold temperatures but frigid, windy, take your breath away temperatures. Not fun. If these drifts are not removed from Maggie's Farm, you may find me face down in one with wine glass in hand.
I think the winter blues hit me even worse because I hit a point where looking cute in cute clothes has to give way to dressing in a survival of the fittest look. I may scream if I have to look at myself in one more pair of skinny jeans and one more pair of UGG boots. My accessory of choice to shake things up is deciding on what color scarf I will wrap around my neck. Over the look.
Enter my get happy look. On days where it is just a bit cold, no mile high drifts and thick ice, I like to play around with my clothes and incorporate spring items into my winter look. I love pairing happy, flowy spring skirts and dresses with a winter cardigan or sweater, heavy black leggings and my black motorcycle boots. Cute, warm AND hopeful of good things to come, once spring arrives. The skirts can easily be switched to flipflops and tshirts as the temperatures soar but I like to have them on when it's cold to put a song in my step.
I have included pictures of what I like to call my Scarlet Begonias look. I have no idea if these flowers are begonias but since it's my look, my favorite song and my blog...Scarlet Begonias it is.
Enjoy the look, adopt it for yourself, enjoy the song and most importantly, join me and my ever changing mood as I eagerly await the arrival of spring!!
One of my goals, now that I have more and more time on my hands, is to learn to bake. Well, I should clarify, I CAN bake, I do not LIKE to bake. I freeze, I get bleary eyed, I have no interest. I love to cook, love to entertain, could throw a cocktail party for 20 at the drop of a hat. I could whip up amazing food, drinks, music, have a cute outfit on and ready to party the night away with only an hour's notice. But, give me a recipe for a cake, pie, brownies, muffins...forget it. My mind doesn't seem to like exact measurements. My mind doesn't seem to like exactness of any kind. Like me, my mind has a free wheeling mind of it's own and tends to shift as soon as the measuring cups come out for the baking.
Cooking is all about using imagination and inspiration. It's really easy to create dishes in your head or to tweak a recipe but baking requires definite rule following. I don't like to conform so basically, I don't like conforming to the rules of baking.
But, I do bake. And, when I put my mind to it, I bake really well. I don't like to buy sweets or baked goods laden with unknown ingredients but I do like my family to have sweet treats and baked goods. I am a firm believer in all foods that are natural, in their purest state, no processed or fake foods or fake fats. Soooo, a girl who follows these guidelines has no choice but to bake up her own concoctions. Now, when I am in an organic grocery, I do stock up on good for you treats but I also think that a family enjoys a nice warm, sweet concoction out of the kitchen made with love.
So, last week, on a cold morning, my ever changing mood was in the mood to bake. I made coffee cake muffins. I served them to Mr. Man who declared them....AWESOME. After we had a good laugh about him starting to say that they were...AWFUL...hahaha. Mr. Man is so funny.
I got this yummy recipe from a blog that I follow...
Yesterday was Valentine's Day and I spent it with Mr. Man on a long weekend out of town. We celebrated with an intimate dinner, last night, that was filled with fun, laughter and lots of conversation. In my ever changing moods, one mood that never changes is the sea of love that I feel for Mr. Man.
Mr. Man and I have a long history, together. We actually met on the playground of elementary school. He was in first grade and I was in half day K. It wasn't love at first sight. In fact it was more like heavy disdain at first sight. Or, maybe it was love hiding away until the perfect opportunity came along to present itself as love. Anyway, Mr. Man and I went to school, together, in our early elementary years and then met back up in high school. Love in high school? No. Not. At. All. There was never any love sparking in me for Mr. Man. Don't get me wrong. He was a hottie, had lots of girlfriends, was funny and I was friends with all of his friends but I still carried that disdain for Mr. Man.
And then the tides changed...lol. The door opened, the love poured in. Sappy....and sappy is not us. Anyway, Mr. Man and I had our first date when I was in town during my Christmas break of junior year in college. We dated, dated and dated. We broke up, broke up and broke up. We dated, again...we very well could hold the title for longest dating couple before deciding to either get married or jump ship. Ironically, as I was getting ready to jump ship, Mr. Man was flashing an engagement ring in my face at the very same moment. No joke. As my speech was coming out about calling it quits, his speech started about getting married and when he flashed the ring, I think I got hysterical blindness because it took me 10 minutes to regain my sight to even see the ring.
We have had a long relationship and with each Valentine's Day, I am reminded, all over, about why I love him. He is one of the only people that can take me from tears to busting out laughter in a matter of minutes, he takes care of me and is an excellent father to the cheerleader. He has a smile that lights up the entire universe and at the same time, his eyes shine so brightly that you feel like a million sparkling stars are shining. He's a great guy, still the love of my life and can still make my heart burst with all things love.
In my ever changing moods, he is my forever valentine and I forever feel lost in the sea of love that is him.
Yesterday, I told you that I needed to change my nickname for where we live. I mean, noboby told me to change it and it wasn't intentional that I used the name, it's just been a pet name for our home. But, with one of my fav author's using it, too, I just didn't feel right. I even had written this author a fan email back when I read her book and told her that it was like she had jumped into my life and started writing. Anyway...I have a new name.
Maggie's Farm is a Dylan song but my favorite version is one that the Grateful Dead covered. I haven't touched, yet, on my blog about my huge, huge, huge love for the Grateful Dead but I will.
Maggie's Farm plays on my Ipod and in my head when I am out doing work all summer long. We like to joke about moving to the sticks and when we first arrived on Maggie's Farm, we had no clue how to survive life in a rural area.
First, we moved from a sunny and warm beach town. We moved into this big, rambling house in the country and on my first cold morning out walking the property, I came across three dead groundhogs. I raced inside and locked the doors and called Mr. Man at work to report that we would need to move, pronto! Some sort of curse was on this house and I was afraid for our cat's life. He couldn't help and wouldn't be home until after dark so I did what any rural dweller would do. I picked them each up with a shovel and hauled them to the open farm land and woods. FUN.
The next new thing was actually having to heat the house. The house was being heated with propane and we had a big propane tank that sits over in a field on other side of the fence. I had no idea how this new concept of having to heat a house worked. But, our house became cold in no time. In the middle of winter. While I was unpacking boxes. I called the propane people and they asked what the tank read? Hmmmm?? Is that my new job, too? Picking up dead animals and reading a gauge on a propane tank? Well, yes, young lady, it was. (The older farmers and men in this area love to use the term, young lady) So, it was now my job to climb the wooden fence, balance on a fence rail, pull the cover off of the top and read the gauge. I have been doing this for the past 10 years. I did get smarter, though, and quit trying to do in high heels, kitten heels or flipflops.
No respectable rural dweller can mow, rake, plant, weed or jump off and on a tractor in heels. Well, I tried but got stuck in the ground. I also learned that you cannot work outside in strands of pearls. I was trimming bushes and a branch got caught under one of the strands of pearls and I thought Mr. Man would come home to find me dangling from the bush on the steep incline.
We don't actually farm the land. We are just surrounded by other farms that grow corn and soybeans. And, there are cows and horses that roam the farm around our house. So, since we don't actually farm, I don't have to wear actual farming boots...thank goodness.
Shoes...another dilemma of living on Maggie's Farm. I arrived with no shoes that would be suitable for this new life. I mean, you cannot toddle around in heels while picking up dead animals, reading the propane tank, digging a garden, mowing the grass, hauling trash cans a mile of a steep hill of a driveway...I mean, seriously. So, that meant that I needed a shoe wardrobe just for Maggie's Farm. I now have a collection of printed muck boots, leopard print Crocs that I ONLY wear on Maggie's Farm and Uggs. Oh, and the boot collection I would like to forget, the snow boot collection. To look in my closet and then to look in my garage, it looks like two totally different women live here just by doing a survey on my shoe wardrobe. Don't get me started on my flipflop collection. I have an addiction and once the weather turns to sun and warmth, I live in flipflops. I work in the yard in them, I have some that I use for taking care of goats. I have the flipflops that are just cute and I wear out and about and I have the flipflops that I buy in bulk just for yardwork, goat work and Maggie's Farm work. Goats are a whole other part of my life and a whole other blog entry. It's coming, though. Don't worry...
Living on Maggie's Farm has given me many ever changing moods. The moods have run from dismay, to horror, to disdain, to finally actually love. I mean, with all of my making fun of living where I do and the daily chores that come with living on Maggie's Farm, I love it and the house and the place that we call home.
This post is not starting with a song title. I need to clarify and apologize.
I have been working on my blog for about a week and I have been referring to my home and rural area as, Green Acres. It is what I have called it since I moved to the country and everyone has always called me, Lisa Douglas. BUT....after reading the blog of someone I respect and who actually lives a very similar lifestyle, it dawned on me that she also calls her life, Green Acres. I do not want to seem like a fake or a copycat or a rip-off queen.
So...from this post forward, I vow to decide on a different term to refer to my house in the country surrounded by farmland.
Susan, if you by chance start to read this blog, know that it did not dawn on me that you called your estate by the same name.
Okay...now to find the new farm name for the place I live.
At least I used to think time was on my side. Last week, in the middle of all of this blowing and drifting and freezing snow, I happened to have come inside from another workout of shovel time and glanced in the mirror of my powder room. If I was not already going to cry over the accumulating snow and accumulating days I was stuck in this house, I was sure to start crying over the girl staring back at me in the mirror.
Staring back at me was a face that I have never seen. I mean, it was still my face, my hair, my smile, my eyes but mixed in with everything were fine lines, laugh lines, lackluster skin, sun spots, a bit of, what is that??? Saggy skin????? Who was this girl and how did she get here??? I was frozen. Should I call 911 Botox? Get the number of a doctor who could perform magic? Cry? Stick out my chin and go with it????
I immediately had to come to grips. I had to talk myself down. I had to be my own therapist. I had to regroup!!
I took a deep breath and started to think. At this point, my ever changing mood was grim. Grim and sad. Grim because I had reached a point in time that I never thought would come. Sad for the lost look of the younger girl I used to be. Now, while I am in my mid-40s, I do still believe that I am young. So, why was my face trying to pull a big joke??
Anyway, I put some happy music on and I began what I like to call The Journey Of My Face. In my life, I have been lucky to have a face that never required much help. No teen acne, no big monthly breakouts, not oily, not dry, everything was tight and looking back, I guess I could have rewarded it's good behavior by taking a little better care when I was young. All I used to need was a quick wash with some Noxzema and a tone with Sea Breeze (yes, showing my age) and I used to use the pink Oil Of Olay that my grandmother used on her skin. Okay....but then the abuse would start. I was a tanning goddess with my friends. And, since it was the 70s, nobody was telling us to get our buns to the nearest bottle of sunscreen. So, we worshipped the sun on tanning blankets, we slathered with baby oil/olive oil/any oil that would get us tan. Spring breaks in Florida? Us use sunscreen??? Are you kidding. So, there was the early sun factor. We were also party girls. We kept late hours and had great times! We liked the nightlife, we liked to boogie...and we were of age to drink, legally, back then. So, yea, after a hard day of sun, bring on the cocktails and then let's stay out til all hours. Did it occur to me to try to help my skin at night after all the fun??? No....just went to bed, no night cream. Night cream was for my grandmother.
So, after those years, I spent years as a flight attendant in airplanes with dry cabin air flying to climates that went from one extreme to the next. Did I try to help my face? NO. I had perfect skin...why bother. Then we moved to the frozen, harsh climate of Green Acres after having just got the moisture level back in my skin from the tropcial paradise where we lived prior to moving to Green Acres. And this is where my story took the shocking turn, last week. The years and years and years of being able to squeak by with good skin finally kicked me.
But, the more I thought, the more I also knew that I embraced this face. The closer I looked, I remember what caused this tiny line, or that laugh line or the feathering of crow's feet. I knew that for me, personally, I could not drastically go and try to erase my face. I simply had to learn how to take care of it like a mature, responsible, grown up. To try to surgically, no matter how non-invasive, remove some of these age signs would be like erasing so much of me and my history. These lines really are the road map of my life that got me here, today. It sounds corny, I know...but I have loved the entire journey, good and bad, and that is the story I wear on my face.
So, I got serious and equipped myself with great under eye potions, wrinkle creams, sunblock for day, glow potions, facial cleansers for mature skin and some really kick-booty night cream. Already, I see a difference. My skin is plumping up, glowing, smiling, looking softer.
I am happy, again. I have the road map to my life but these days I think the journey will look a bit softer and less travelled.
Yesterday, my thoughts were all about the friends that make up my life. The friends I see daily or at school events or at meetings or at coffee. The friends who make up my world, in real life. I have long distance friends, friends who live close by and friends that live close by but I actually "see" them more, online.
Online...the great friend connector!! Online has also introduced me to many, many women that make up my life, on a daily basis, and have been making up my life for about 13 years. Amazing!!! You hear a lot of jokes about having online friends, how they are not real, somehow, or serial stalkers, etc. But, in my ever changing moods, these online friends have made my moods happy, sad, elated, irritated and loved. My life would not be complete without the part of me that is a part of them.
When the cheerleader was three years old, Mr. Man brought home our first computer. EXCITEMENT! I was going to surf the net...lol. I started slow by compiling email contacts, cooking websites, stuff like that. One day, I got an email from a friend telling me about a place called, Moms Online. I went, I joined, I was on AOL at the time and joined the AOL side of Moms Online. Voila!! It was like meeting and friending a whole bunch of moms from all over the place out of the comfort of your home. There was so much to absorb, take in, learn. It was so overwhelming that I had to just choose one area so I chose a cooking board. Friends were made, we dished food, kids, husbands, life...it was just amazing.
Years jumped ahead, boards changed or broke up and when we moved to the rural country of Green Acres (my joke name for where we live) I was without internet service for a few months until they got actual internet service out in our neck of the woods. But, once I was back online, things had changed, Moms Online was no more and I had to search for a new group of friends. I found them and little by little we have all seemed to band together to form quite a group. I guess the remaining friends that I have on boards have been the friends who will stand the test of time, we have been there through so much over time, survived board fights, board breakups, mean posters and yet we still stand strong. Sometimes, if I feel things or people are slowly sending me to my last nerve, I take a break or step away. And, the beauty of doing that is when you go back, it is like a light beckoning you, your safety light and you know you are back home.
I have been lucky to have been a part of two very seperate kinds of boards, each containing the most unique people. One set of friends on a board were brought together by being moms, wives, love of cooking, etc. The other set of board friends were brought together by our obsession and love of a little tv show, Sex And The City. Both boards have taught me a great deal about the true meaning of friendship and both have showed me that when the chips all fall, and you look around, the friends left standing and waving to you are the greatest friends of all.
So, online friends make up a special place in my heart. They have helped shape me into who I am just like my friends, in my everyday life.
Friends...we all need them, we all love them and on a daily basis, I like to think that I really do get by with a little help from my friends.
I have decided that since music plays such an important role in my life and in my ever changing moods, I would start each entry in this blog with a song title. Music makes me happy, speaks to me, takes me to good times with good friends, takes me to all of the corners of my life. So, what better way to explain my daily ramblings?
Friends have been on my mind, a lot, lately. Old friends, newer friends, online friends, old college friends, high school friends...the list goes on.
I have been thinking a lot about how, in my mid 40s, I seem to place an even greater emphasis on my friends and the friends who surround me. In my teen years and in my years of being a twenty-something, it seemed like the bigger the group, the better. The louder, the rowdier, the larger the crowd, the better. Good times were always sought and always accomplished. I was lucky to have a lot of friends, both male and female, and even luckier to have that one best friend. The best friend and I were often called, two peas in a pod and we shared life, laughter, fun, trouble, broken hearts and an almost sisterhood. Then, as life progressed, we both shot off to seek seperate colleges, seperate paths and both started our new lives away from our old lives.
In my 30s, it seemed that friends were coming into my life as new moms, new neighbors, new wives of friends. I became a new mom right before I turned 30. So many new changes brought on a new need for new friends. I bonded with other new moms over MOPS or in the neighborhood, at story times, preschool, the pool, the park. I craved all new mom friends. I needed these new friends!! Together, we figured out the baby stuff, the toddler stuff, the preschool stuff, the husband stuff, the potty-training stuff. We cheered and we cried and we vented and we laughed. We grew closer over coffee afternoons and even closer over Friday happy hours. We watched the babies take first steps, we consoled over setbacks and smiled at the small wonders that took up a large portion of our lives.
And, just like that, kids grew, people moved, our needs changed and we moved on. The latter part of my 30s found us moving from our little beach community to the cold rural area where we now live. The baby was now in elementary school and I was face to face with the moms of the new community. I think that this was the hardest phase of the friendship cycle. Moving to a small community where people had lived for generations. I was the new mom on the block, the new girl in town. I did what anyone would do and quickly marched into the first PTA meeting of the little private school and signed up for every committee there was. And met some of my closest friends at the time. We bonded, worked hard, shared our love of coffee and cocktails. Watched the kids grow even bigger and older and continued to bond over PTA, school issues and what directions our kids were all beginning to take. Little by little, we all drifted from the little private school, kids all filtered into public school, developed their own interests and the moms....well, we seemed to start to fray at the seams, too.
Years went on, kids turned into teens, the teens have become more independent and ironically, some of the teens who were students at the little private school, have rebonded. And, one of my favorite friends has rebonded with me. This makes me happy to know that as lives change, friendships change but as women age, it seems that we tend to make a never ending circle of friendship. My best friends, now, may have started out because we had kids the same ages or same interests but now that the kids are all older, it makes me happy that us moms have remained tight.
In my 40s, I have been reunited with the best friend from high school, some best friends and sorority sisters from college, old neighbor friends, old high school pals, old friends that I made when I moved here and new friends. But, it's the easiness and trusting that I love. The laughter, the sharing, the coffe and the cocktails. I feel so lucky to have two handfuls of friends that I hold close to my heart. And, the older I get, I realize that some friendships have had to be let go...and that's okay. The older I get, I don't need that large group. I need the two handfuls of my pals to get me through.
And, in my ever changing moods, this makes me so content...
When I meet up with my closest friends, it always makes me think of the lyrics, Hello Old Friend.
Just wait until I discuss my online friends...they hold the other part of my heart of friendship.
We live in the country and we were slammed, like many others, with that huge snow storm that blew through. We have been stuck in the house for 24 hours and the cheerleader has been beyond bored and restless. She is a girl on the go while I am a girl who doesn't mind some downtime. But, 24 hours of downtime is enough and was beginning to make my mood turn agitated. So, I just got a pathway dug out from the front porch, up the drive and around my car. We plan to venture out to put us both in our happy moods!!
Since this blog is about my ever changing moods, I thought I would share the many moods that are me. Or, more like, the many things that are me and what I like to do.
Cooking Coffee Music Reading Wine Watching the cheerleader do her thing...which is cheer! Spending time with Mr. Man and the cheerleader Going on dates with Mr. Man (he still makes me swoon) Spending time with my friends Facebook! Driving my convertible in warm and sunny weather! Hanging out with my online friends (hey, it's not weird...many of us met back when the cheerleader was 3 years old...they have helped keep my sanity many times) The hair salon...love my hair girl! Manicures/Pedicures Fashion Shoes Hats Warm weather Flipflops Lipgloss Magazines Following blogs that are about all things bohemian Trying to learn to actually bake without freaking out. Love to cook, abhor baking Throwing a great soiree Collecting dishes and cocktail glasses Texting Watching movies Watching really shallow reality shows on Bravo Meeting friends for coffee! My Ipod Downloading songs to my Ipod Dancing around to songs on my Ipod Following all bands of the mid to late 60s/early 70s Being a mom, or relearning how to mother a head strong, independent teen girl...gotta love drama/over the top dramatics/and snarkiness...
I am sure that I have many other things that I love to do and put me in a good mood but I think this list gives you an idea.
Notice that I did not include laundry, cleaning or anything of the everyday mundane. Not that I don't do them. I mean, I do them each and every day and could do them all in my sleep. But...as my mood is ever changing, these tasks are going to my ever changing mood of disdain. Things that must be done in my life but are no longer fun doing them.
My name is Pamela, Pam to my friends, PS to my online friends. The title of my blog comes from a song title of one of my favorite songs of the 80's and seems to represent my life, lately.
I am 45 years old, a bohemian hippie chick at heart, a wife, a mom, a friend...you get the picture. I have been married to my sweetheart for 19 years and we have a 16 year old daughter that I like to call the cheerleader. Cheerleading and tumbling are her life so it seems appropriate. Up until the cheerleader got her driver's license and car, I was a mom on the road, everyday, most of the day. I have been a stay at home mom since the cheerleader was born and lately, well, with the addition of the mentioned car, I find that my time, life and freedom are coming back to me. And, while in many ways, this is good, it also is making me realize that I seem to be changing, each and everyday. My new freedom is making me think and making me realize that it's time to plan the next part of my life.
What are those plans? Who knows. My life, from my earliest memories, has been about the carefree journey. I sort of just land where I need to be at that given time in my life. It sounds sort of ditzy but if you know me, you know that I can be ditzy and fun and funny and crazy. So, planning, well, planning is never something I have given a great thought about. So, this blog, I am hoping, will help me take this new journey on a new road to discover how to be the mom of the independent teen, the wife of the busy man with his own busy life, the caretaker of the world's oddest cat, a friend with all of my friends who are also at this crossroad and how to do it while sipping coffee, sipping wine, dreaming of flipflop weather, flipping through fashion magazines, investigating the newest shades of makeup for the season...well, you get the picture.
I am about to discover my ever changing moods and taking you along for the ride. Seatbelts fastened!! I like to drive flamboyantly!! (my urbandictionary definition when I type in my name)
