At least I used to think time was on my side. Last week, in the middle of all of this blowing and drifting and freezing snow, I happened to have come inside from another workout of shovel time and glanced in the mirror of my powder room. If I was not already going to cry over the accumulating snow and accumulating days I was stuck in this house, I was sure to start crying over the girl staring back at me in the mirror.
Staring back at me was a face that I have never seen. I mean, it was still my face, my hair, my smile, my eyes but mixed in with everything were fine lines, laugh lines, lackluster skin, sun spots, a bit of, what is that??? Saggy skin????? Who was this girl and how did she get here??? I was frozen. Should I call 911 Botox? Get the number of a doctor who could perform magic? Cry? Stick out my chin and go with it????
I immediately had to come to grips. I had to talk myself down. I had to be my own therapist. I had to regroup!!
I took a deep breath and started to think. At this point, my ever changing mood was grim. Grim and sad. Grim because I had reached a point in time that I never thought would come. Sad for the lost look of the younger girl I used to be. Now, while I am in my mid-40s, I do still believe that I am young. So, why was my face trying to pull a big joke??
Anyway, I put some happy music on and I began what I like to call The Journey Of My Face. In my life, I have been lucky to have a face that never required much help. No teen acne, no big monthly breakouts, not oily, not dry, everything was tight and looking back, I guess I could have rewarded it's good behavior by taking a little better care when I was young. All I used to need was a quick wash with some Noxzema and a tone with Sea Breeze (yes, showing my age) and I used to use the pink Oil Of Olay that my grandmother used on her skin. Okay....but then the abuse would start. I was a tanning goddess with my friends. And, since it was the 70s, nobody was telling us to get our buns to the nearest bottle of sunscreen. So, we worshipped the sun on tanning blankets, we slathered with baby oil/olive oil/any oil that would get us tan. Spring breaks in Florida? Us use sunscreen??? Are you kidding. So, there was the early sun factor. We were also party girls. We kept late hours and had great times! We liked the nightlife, we liked to boogie...and we were of age to drink, legally, back then. So, yea, after a hard day of sun, bring on the cocktails and then let's stay out til all hours. Did it occur to me to try to help my skin at night after all the fun??? No....just went to bed, no night cream. Night cream was for my grandmother.
So, after those years, I spent years as a flight attendant in airplanes with dry cabin air flying to climates that went from one extreme to the next. Did I try to help my face? NO. I had perfect skin...why bother. Then we moved to the frozen, harsh climate of Green Acres after having just got the moisture level back in my skin from the tropcial paradise where we lived prior to moving to Green Acres. And this is where my story took the shocking turn, last week. The years and years and years of being able to squeak by with good skin finally kicked me.
But, the more I thought, the more I also knew that I embraced this face. The closer I looked, I remember what caused this tiny line, or that laugh line or the feathering of crow's feet. I knew that for me, personally, I could not drastically go and try to erase my face. I simply had to learn how to take care of it like a mature, responsible, grown up. To try to surgically, no matter how non-invasive, remove some of these age signs would be like erasing so much of me and my history. These lines really are the road map of my life that got me here, today. It sounds corny, I know...but I have loved the entire journey, good and bad, and that is the story I wear on my face.
So, I got serious and equipped myself with great under eye potions, wrinkle creams, sunblock for day, glow potions, facial cleansers for mature skin and some really kick-booty night cream. Already, I see a difference. My skin is plumping up, glowing, smiling, looking softer.
I am happy, again. I have the road map to my life but these days I think the journey will look a bit softer and less travelled.
Time is on my side, for now.