Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Far Away Eyes

I am having a week!!! Not a day, not a morning, not an hour where things all go wrong. No, so far, it's been all week for me. It's irritating and no matter how hard I try to really focus and concentrate and make sure I am back on the track to my normal self, one more thing goes wrong or doesn't pan out quite how I would like.

In my ever changing moods, my cosmic planets are all jumbled up and need to re-align so that I can jump back on my usually well organized, do most things right, non-emotional planet that I usually live on.

My head is in a hazy fog, for some reason. My thoughts are jumbled, I have forgotten most of everything that I wanted to get done or needed to get done. I felt myself just throwing my hands in the air, yesterday, and when that happens, the more I try to accomplish, the less I actually do accomplish. It was one of those days where you aren't sure what is going to help. Going back to bed and calling a do-over? Start drinking at noon? Tune out the world around you and unplugging phones and shutting down cells? Don't leave the house? I had all of these emotions. Truthfully, I should have picked the drinking at noon. At least my mood would have been giddy.

This happens maybe once or twice a year. I never know when it's going to hit since I never know when the cosmos are going to have it out for me. I go along, happy go lucky, doing all of the mom and wife things that I do. I go to bed, everything is normal, I wake up and I know that something is off. The Planet of Pamela has collided with The Planet of Poo. I can't stop it, I just have to let the poo take over. If I fight it, it gets more frustrating. So, I take baby steps. I applaud the things that I did accomplish. I applaud the fact that the irritating public didn't get knitting needles in their eyes, I applaud the fact that my grocery store stalker didn't get a karate chop when he commented to me in the grocery, I applaud the fact that all of the speed racer drivers didn't get a not so nice hand gesture from me. I just work on small tasks and leave the really big tasks that I had planned. I try not to let things people say hit me in an emotional way. Believe me, I know it's Planet Pamela that has the problem. I know it's all me. Just stay back so I don't have to pull out a stun a way.

I am trying to ignore the fact that I now have three additional cats mysteriously living under my front porch. I am trying to ignore the fact that the laundry room is mocking me and my iron is spitting water at me. I am trying to ignore any comedic remarks made by J. I am trying to ignore the fact that the only time I am seeing the cheerleader is either when she is sleeping or in need of money. I am ignoring my failed attempts at all things domestic. I am ignoring a lot of things, this week.

In the past when my cosmic planets have collided, I have found that the best defense is no defense. I just have to keep letting them all spin out of control. When they are done, I will know it, my mood will know it, my house will know it and my family will know it.

For now, I find that if I just stare off into space, with far away eyes and thoughts, I can just avoid a lot of conflict. I have a favorite housewife on one of my favorite shows, Real Housewives Of New York. She is Sonja Morgan and I have adopted one of her quotes from the show...Move away from the situation, diffuse the situation. I should play this to anyone trying to approach me, this week. For their benefit as well as mine...So, if you see me with that far away look in my eyes, you will know just to hand me my coffee or wine and step away...nobody will get hurt.


Dawn said...

Hugs to you! Remember, as I said in one of my previous posts...I've got your back and sometimes it IS all about US! Give yourself a break and I hope I'm not on your last nervous! xoxo

Pamela said... could never be on my last nervous.