Friday, July 9, 2010

Stop Your Sobbing

I am not sobbing but I did wake up in one of those blue moods. Not even blue. Maybe more of a magenta mood. A mood that is a mix of levels of irritation, moodiness, bad attitude. One of those moods that creeps up, for no reason, and plants itself on top of your head and continues to just melt down, all over you. That is the mood that I woke up in, this morning.

In my ever changing moods, I rarely, rarely am in a mood. I mean, I get moments of irritation like anyone else. I have a second of getting mad over something, occassionally, but for the most part, I am on the road of peppy, good mood, rock and roll it, deal and continue moving forward. When I have this rare mood that plants itself on me, I don't know what else to do except to let it pass through me. Eventually, I get so sick of myself and my snarliness that I snap out of it. I just quit the whole whining, woe is me, don't make me cry mood. I hope I reach that point very soon, today. I am already over myself.

To make the mood even worse, is to have someone in the house, let's just say, J, comment on my mood. I KNOW that I have a mood going but for some reason, to have someone point it out makes it a hundred times worse. It brings on the defensive, snarky comments that I let swirl inside my head and then that just makes me want to get all teary and pathetic. I smile and try to insist that I most definitely am NOT in a mood. While on the inside, I am seething that anyone dare point my mood out to me.

Basically, I am not a happy camper, today, on a day where I am about to venture out into the public. Beware innocent people of the community. A crazy woman is about to emerge. It is not a day to get on my last nerve. It is not a day to make any stupid moves. Eventually, I will diffuse and I will be able to step back into my happy shoes. But this process has to be in my own time. It has to gradually drift away and bring my sunny side back. Until then, I am keeping my interaction with the world to a minimum.

This is the kind of mood that needs no reason for being here. Nothing happened, I have nothing wrong or gone wrong, life is peachy at Maggie's Farm and I love everyone around me. I just knew as soon as my feet hit the floor, this morning, that the magenta mood was here. There is no use in even trying to pretend that it's not here. It is, I will deal, I will tire of my own whining, I will kick myself in the arse and then all will be right in my world, again.

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