Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Riki Don't Lose That Number

Actually, today, I often wondered if the cheerleader could at least just forget my number for 10 seconds. I love the girl but just let me have to call her and I get the ever annoying voicemail. A text she will return but an actual call?? Seriously?? How 2002 to actually answer a cell phone.

The tables turn, though, when it's me she is trying to reach. And, I have to say, today's multi-pack of calls, really didn't need to reach me at all. In my ever changing moods, I have learned to be weary of the actual phone call instead of the text from the cheerleader.

Today has been a busy day that also included a trip to the doctor for me and my lovely, very pretty poison ivy. I don't do poison ivy well, at all. In fact, my doctor informed me that I have become one of those people that just has to be in the vicinity of poison ivy and inhale to get a full blown case of it. For 10 summers of living on Maggie's Farm, I have managed to contract poison ivy, poison oak, poison sumac each and every year. In the beginning, I tried to keep it at bay, tried to treat it with all of the over counter medications, creams and potions. Finally, a couple of summers ago I gave up. I looked like a mental patient walking around in long sleeves and long pants on a 90 degree day covered in shiny cream, blotches on my face and itching. I just don't even wait, now. So, today found me with a shot and medication to bring home. I then had to begin mowing and the cottonwood that is my nemesis was blowing and blew in my eye and that is my biggest allergy foe. I don't even get allergies except during cottonwood season.

So, I jumped off the tractor, was searching for allergy medication. Anything, please, let there be at least one Benadryll left. I could down it with a large glass of caffeine and keep myself awake while mowing. This is when the phone calls started on my cell.

Cheerleader.....Um, I'm going to H's house to play with the goats.
Me...fine.
Cheerleader...then we are going to go get chinese to eat. I don't have any money but you can just pay back the person I will borrow it from.
Me...HOW FUN FOR ME!

Next call...
Cheerleader...I have money in my car.
Me...Cool. I am trying to mow the grass. Is that all you wanted?
Cheerleader...yes MOM!! Why are you being so negative?
Me...silence...hang up.

Next call..
Cheerleader...why didn't you text me about the pic I sent you?
Me...I just came in to splash cold water in my now totally swollen eye and didn't see you sent me one. Oh, cute...goat pics.
Cheerleader...aren't they adorable?
Me...yes...I am now returning to the yard.
Cheerleader...hangs up on me.

Next call...
Cheerleader...overly sweet voice (this is the voice that is too sweet and usually means she wants money or something else.)
Me...do you need something? I just came in for a tissue and it's going to rain...what do you need?
Cheerleader...um, before I leave for Florida, can you take me shopping for some really cute and inexpensive dresses? (FYI..she just went on a major shopping spree. And, she doesn't know the meaning of inexpensive.)
Me...heavy sigh...can we talk about this when I am NOT mowing?
Cheerleader...to her posse...my mom is in a mood...hangs up.

Last call..
Cheerleader...(sweet voice/evasive mumbling) Um, we're bored and like have no place else to go until I have to leave for the next town, over. Can everyone just come to our house and hang out?
Me...heavy sigh.
Cheerleader...we will stay up in my room if you want.
Me...that would be great because the house is clean, I have been working, all day, and I want to shower and not have to clean up after all of you.
Cheerleader...OKAY!!

When I walk out of my room from said shower, nobody is in her room. They are all lounged and slumped over my kitchen table. Everyone is staring at me. Some are on the computer exclaiming over another friend's desire to go from blonde hair to brown hair. That little bit of shocking news hit them much like the world was about to explode. More looking at me...drinking all newly stocked beverages. I was making all kinds of attempts at conversation but today must have been lethargic day in their world.

I gave up, escaped to the laundry room, they all decided to scram and work on Chem projects and I silently did a happy dance and thought maybe, just maybe one time, she could lose my number if it wasn't something of earth shattering proportions.



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