Monday, June 21, 2010

The Sound Of Silence

My blogging and my house have been silent for a few days. I guess I have just needed the mental holiday, the brain vacation, the white noise to all take a family left me (with permission) and went on a mini vacation. All of a sudden, there are no teens eating all of the food, the ATM in the entry way has been silent, I haven't cooked a dinner in days, I am sleeping to my heart's content. Yes, right now I am alone and enjoying the much needed sounds of silence.

In my ever changing moods, I love my family beyond all that is possible. But, it's been a crazy, busy, emotional, stressed out year and last week was the week that both the cheerleader and I hit the brick wall. Mr. Man, knowing me better than I sometimes know myself, very wisely gave me this beautiful block of alone time. I love him for knowing me so well.

As a mom, I know that parenting an only must seem like a piece of cake to my pals who have multiples. In some ways, yes, yes it is. I only have to be in one place, at all times, for anything pertaining to the cheerleader. We are able to focus on just one kid, one drama, all at once. But, there are also challenges to raising a successful only child. In some ways, that is a huge challenge. I love the cheerleader with all of my heart and just this morning I was sitting with coffee and reflecting on the woman that she is becoming. She is made up of many pieces from Mr. Man, me, extended family members. And, these pieces, luckily, all seem to be the pieces that are the best of all of us. Combined, the pieces have made a powerhouse of a dynamo that makes me both proud and exhausts me, at the same time. So, a bit of a break, before we continue with the crazy summer and the even crazier upcoming senior year is greatly appreciated.

The cheerleader seems to possess all of Mr. Man's great traits! She bypassed the Mr. Man of high school and is not the wild child that he was. She has his self confidence, his business sense, his kind and gentle ways. She is a Type A and doesn't rest, much like he is. She is driven and focused and never gives up. Basically, she is all Mr. Man. I see some flashes of me, in her, but not a lot. She is much more sure of herself, more goal oriented, than I was in high school. But then she is well liked (I would like to think she gets this from has a lot of friends, is very involved and she knows her mind and herself. This, she did get from me. She already knows what she wants to study in college and she and Mr. Man are busy mapping this out. He has a few supporting ideas for her, too. She admires Mr. Man and listens to all that he suggests and adivses. She is more apt to ignore me. Even if I say the same exact things at Mr. Man, I am her mom and that makes anything I say or do, very lame.

She is the child who has never been still a day in her life. She has always been on the go and has always been a body in motion. The most frustrating time of her life was when she had to undergo back surgery and had a four month recovery period. She was ready to go back to school a week after that surgery. She was so angry that the doctor had other ideas. I have never witnessed anyone so brave and determined. When her four months were up and she was given the green light to remove her recovery brace, I found her in the front yard retraining herself in gymnastics. She is a force and you cannot stand in her way. She has had two major surgeries in her young life. You would never know it. And, to watch her cheer and do her gymnastics during basketball season would bring tears to your eyes if you knew her history.

She is a powerhouse that never slows down. While I commend her for that, it is also hard for her very Type A/B mother to keep up. I am more of a balance between Type A and Type B...I live with two extreme Type A people. So, things in our house are always on the go, never at rest and always highly energetic.

That is why, right now, this Type A/B mother is totally enjoying this short time of silence. That is why I took a few days off from blogging. I let my brain shut down along with the white noise that seems to surround me at times.

It is not often that I find myself totally alone. I am truly taking advantage of it because when they walk through the door, this week, it will be back to the non-stop commotion. But, in my ever changing moods, while the break is nice, I wouldn't have our everyday lives any other way but highly charged.


tammy said...

Enjoy your last few days of silence. Pure bliss!! But then having them come home again and gathered under one roof will also be....pure bliss. I get it. :)

Paige said...

Hope you enjoy your last few days! Thanks for coming by my blog to help me celebrate my SITS day. Hope you have a great week!