I Can See Clearly Now

Today has been one of those days that the unexpected has happened. One of those days that hits you with a surprise that lets you savor the unexpected event. A day that shows you that you really did handle an explosive situation, in the past, in the right way by just standing in the background and not making a scene. A day when the wheel comes full cirlce, when a quiet voice won over the loud, protesting voices, a day where the sun feels like it is shining just for you. Today is that kind of day for me. The day when I see everything so clearly and feel so free.

In my ever changing moods, I believe in the philosophy of karma. And, in one way or another, karma always works it's magic. You don't know when, where or why. Sometimes it can be quite frustrating and it can cause you to question if you handled a situation the right way. But then that day pops open with a sunburst of karma and today, I am left smiling with a weight that has been lifted and a free spirit. Today, I have finally been able to rid myself of a bit of pent up anger, irritation and frustration. And the beauty of it all? I didn't have to do anything to bring this on. I handled a situation much like I handle many situations. I am not an in your face, confrontational, loud mouth. I choose to pick my battles, wisely and calmly and quietly, when I can. This is where the frustration feeling can come into play. Because, when I walk away from a situation trying to be the bigger person, there is always a nagging doubt about if I handled it correctly.

I am not going into details or a play by play. I deal with things in quiet ways when I can. I am not talking about irritating situations with irritating people. I am usually quick to cut my losses, let that person know, move on, don't look back. I give no mixed signals on if I like you, don't like you, am over your behavior, etc. I am not a hard person to read.

But, sometimes a situation becomes highly charged due to a person spearheading the situation and because of all the people involved and all of the people who are going to feel the aftershocks. I try to access and decide how to proceed. A couple of years ago, I was faced with this type of situation. I did a lot of smiling through tears, a lot of inner conflict soul searching, a ton of biting my tongue and finally, a silent release and removal of me from the situation. And, I moved on. But, for many reasons, I still had to be involved with the inner ring of conflict.

This morning, after over two years ago, it all changed. The sun came out, the clouds parted and my sweet, sweet karma was smiling on me. Sometimes you never get to see karma come full circle. You never get to know when exactly it happens. Today, is my Christmas in June. I unwrapped a big, beautiful package of release. It's a day that I can finally let it all go and I was able to re-position myself to a position of control and a quiet victory. My words were not cruel, the other party needed me in an ironic turn of events, I was able to swiftly work my words out, delivered them, released my pent up irritation and move on. I don't know if the other party feels that they got the ally they were looking for but they definitely know that I know what they did, what they said and that I would never again be treated in that manner.

Today is the day, in my ever changing moods, that I have been waiting a very long time to see happen. I plan to continue my walk in the clouds a bit longer...