Monday, April 5, 2010

Can't Explain

Well, this is a nice title, huh? I am sure that it sounds very vague. Hopefully, when I am done with my rambling thoughts, today, it will make sense. If not, I can't control the thoughts in my head so we'll just go with it.

Anyway, in my ever changing moods, the song, Can't Explain, is The Who, I was at dinner at a good friend's house on Saturday night, and our dinner music was in the background and it was, The Who. So, see....dinner, friends, The Who all equal..Can't Explain.

I realize that I post a lot about my friends and how much they all mean to me. What I neglect to write about is why I hold them all so dear. I mean, we all have friends, right? Who doesn't need the love and compainship of a few good friends? And, I am not an insecure person who cannot stand the thought of my own private company but my friends really are my life.

I posted, before, about my father leaving. It was such an odd thing to have happen. It was strange and sad all rolled into one. I let myself be sad, then I worked things out in my head, and then I moved on. Well, I mean, how can a 13 year old move on, really? I just mean, I dealt and then I rejoined my life in progress. What I wouldn't realize until years later, is how I started to make my friends and their families, my own family. Not in a stalking kind of way. And, I was never an emotionally destructive child of divorce. I just liked going to the homes of my friends where normalcy seemed to reign. The older I became and as we all started to grow up and away from our family units, I kept my friends as my family circle. Of course, as you grow older, you leave a lot of those friends behind and everyone carves their own path. But then there are the few that remained and stayed a part of my life from then until the present. Mr. Man has a few of his best pals from high school that are still in our life and we consider them family. When they come through the door to visit, I immediately am drawn back to earlier times and I see them with long hair, lots of laughter, fast cars and I have so many recollections of good times.

Growing up, I was part of a neighborhood of boys. There were girls but I guess we just didn't have a whole lot in common and I wasn't allowed to take off on my bike, yet, to pedal to the neighborhoods where my early gal pals lived. So, I hung with the guys and was always a pal. Once I hit high school, I met a friend who would remain a good friend even to this day. We parted for quite a few years but recently found our way back to one another. We now chat like it was just yesterday when we cruised around in her little white Mustang and drove our parents crazy.

So, all this is leading up to the point of my post. Friends are my family along with Mr. Man and the cheerleader. I mean, of course we have parents and such who are our family, too, but I am focusing on the friends who become family.

Now, back to Saturday's involved two good friends of mine. Both from quite a few years ago. It was a lovely evening of drinks and such on the porch and then dinner in a cozy dining room, wine, The Who in the background. It was growing dark and the flicker of candles was bright. We laughed, discussed things, cleared the table and then huddled in the inviting kitchen. All lit with candles and we talked for a couple more hours. The one friend, I have known for 10 years and we share quite a lot. My other friend, is from even farther back. We chatted a lot about how the three of us share a history, how the one friend shared a history with Mr. Man and how that friend and a few other friends knew Mr. Man and me from high school. It was just an enchanted evening. And, I was filled with a familiar love as I sat and chatted the night away.

Friends that become family are the best kind of friends. Friends that have known you over the years and are still around are such a comfort. I feel fortunate that Mr. Man and I have such a wonderful extended family.

So, yes, I can't explain, I can only share the love.

(As always, I try to keep everyone's names as either a nickname or a no name. If I don't mention specific names in a blog post, it is because I do not want people feeling uncormfortable when I write about them. So, if I don't post names of friends and family, I am thanking you, my friends, for respecting that, too...)

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